Demist Family

PHOTO TO COME - COMPUTER TIMES OUT!
Here we have a shot of me with the women of my new homestay family I just had for ten days. I got really close with this family, they were so much fun....after the initial shock-all-over-again of adjusting to homestay life, new personalities, a new vibe, slightly different dynamics and lifestyles to my homestay family in Thies, it was so rewarding to have met and really befriended them.

My name here was "Mari Mar," named after my "sister," the girl in white to my left, my namesake! These are some of my "sisters" and my "mom" - Kine, Mari, Cordu, Fama....The girl to my right, pictured, was my special friend there - Fama - she was definitely my soul mate of that homestay, although again, I loved all of the people in my family. I will post more about them next week - the boys were hysterical, and Fama and Dam, in particular, are really talented, they performed in the Earth Day play production (now, don't picture what you'd think of as a school play in the states, it is different!)

I will write more next week. I will also post more pics of Senegalese, I have loads that I am dying to share, this culture is so special, they love to have a good time and tease each other and laugh so it is lots of fun - and they are great dancers! The Wolofs, gotta love 'em.

Now you have seen the training center and some of my friends - samay xaarits - and you need to see more of the culture. We'll both be emersed more and more in that together as the time passes, inshala. That is the key to "success" - whatever that is and will illumine itself to be as time passes - here.

Love you all lots!! Jamm ak Jamm (peace and peace). Alhumdolilah.

Good times

The photo of crazy people jumping is of some of my friends - trainees - at the beach a couple of weekends ago when we went to blow off some steam. Second from the left is "Ablai Jaxate," he is the other trainee living in my village outside Thies. That's, from left, Jared, Jen, Kay, Patrick, and Brittany. Good times. This day and a half at the beach, and night, was so much fun, we really had a blast and got to know each other better during this time. This helped for friends to lean on when we were on our intense Demistification experience.

Then we have a shot of my two fav kids in my homestay family (although I love everyone in my family here!). From left, Mamarem, Fatembouge and Fama, are kids of my "aunt" and "uncle" here, although families are massive and a lot different than they are in the West. They live in the same compound as I (there are 3 houses in the compound, maybe about 25-30 people living here in all). Fatembouge, the one in the middle, is my soul mate in mini form in Africa, I think we knew each other in a different lifetime. It is impossible to explain but we have this special connection. Even when I couldn't speak a lick of Wolof we had it - go figure! Sama xaarit ("sama harit" - my friend), Fatembouge. The family all says "your friend missed you today" or "your friend is coming" when Fatembouge is coming up to me when I come home from "work." It is really sweet. I like it!

At the Ranch

Hey, everyone! Here are some photos taken at the training center - that's Jared and Kruger, and a kitten from a stray, there are a lot here - so cute! (the kitten I mean, ha ha ha! :). Laura, and other trainees behind her, are working the Urban Ag garden. Then we have a shot of the training center itself, it is so green - lots of water here! Outside the training center, not so much, it is very desert-like in the northen part where I have just been for Demistification. The last is of EE trainees pepineering at the center - working with the earth is a good time!

Demist was so challenging, we were with a new homestay family so had to re-adjust to that, plus was over 100 degrees every day, very close to the Sahel desert, and we had full classes, and had to teach in Wolof how to make a pepineer (tree garden); we also taught mosquito net dipping, and we had to do a Community Map and a Seasonal Calendar by interviewing locals. The Wolof is coming along - on my latest test I made it to Intermediate Low, so technically I am now cleared to go to my site. We got to shadow a PCV and see what a volunteer's life is like, and we had a full day of Earth Day activities with two local schools, where we saw a play about composting, the kids sang two songs about trees, etc, and we did face painting and "Mamadu Says" (rather than Simon Says).

Interesting, hard, hard work, but very rewarding. It has reaffirmed my desire and my reasons for being here - yeah! Sweet! :) Mungiy doh (meaning "it's walking" or "it's going").

Hey, guys, you can see here on the left our first night at the centre, there are a few of the Senegalese trainers and some of the volunteers. Then to the right you can see the Disco Hut where we have many classes. So I can hopefully upload more family and cultural pics next week. The next two entries have also been updated. Jamm ak Jamm.

Hey, guys, I am in this restaurant that has wi-fi access and I am using a friend's computer, it is heavenly as it has an English keyboard and it only took 5 minutes to upload this photo, as opposed to 25 while crashing the whole computer. Thank you, Emily!

Thank you again for all your words of support during this time! I hope that you will consider sending me a care package or a letter, it is so amazing how these things can be a real pick me up. When a volunteer gets a care package it is exciting for everyone - already, nutritional needs are being met at a significantly lower level than in the US (just the nature of the season, what is available here, and cooking methods, ie - cooking to death!), and morale is effected by the many hours of tedious classroom study, plus overwhelming homestay, each day....

Yesterday when we knocked off we were able to go out and then stay at the center afterwards, which was great, as I am getting to know some volunteers better, and to hear that my concerns are not just in my head! This is a hard time for everyone. I don't want to say anything negative so I am trying to reframe the problems that I have with training in my own head. And no one said that this work would be easy or fun - especially the part leading up to the actual job! Who likes training, especially for 10 hours a day.....from what everyone says, service is very different.

So I am also trying to take my ego out of this and observe how I feel and the thoughts in my head without reacting. I want to leave like 65-95% of the time, and think about it a huge amount. I have a huge amount of resistance to language training and study, but today I don't want to leave at all, I really love it, so it is a good exercise in knowing that things change. Moreover, I am pretty dedicated in my mind to making it through this tough training period.

Basically, when I am in the culture and with my people it is challenging but it is the stuff that I love, whereas in the classroom.....not so much! But who loves their job all the time.....maybe no one! And overall this is a sacrfice anyway....so these are some thoughts going through my head which will, also, change! I try to take things as they come these days without developing attachments one way or another.

The above photo was taken one of our first nights here, a "band" came to the centre to give us a taste of Senegalese music. OK, it was very set up, but it was interesting - our first slice of Senegalese culture! Some volunteers went dancing last night after dinner, which I have yet to try, but I hear that the music is awesome.

Tonight I am going to a baptism in our village, a big deal, and hope to post more culture photos soon, especially of my Senegalese family and the kids. The Jaxates. My Senegalese name is Assa Jaxate. I love it. So I could say loads more about my family but will wait till next week with some photos to support.

Love you! Jamm ak jamm! (Peace and peace!)

Hey, guys, I am dying to upload a photo, so check back here next Saturday or Sunday and hopefully I will get a chance - today I was responding to a lot of individual emails and will not have time, as my Peace Corps escort out to Tawa Fall - my homestay village - leaves in 20 minutes.....

Thank you so much for all the love and support sent me. It seems that the only way to take this is one moment, one step at a time. The precious wisdom that has been sent me by my peers has been priceless, so thank you all. You are in my heart and my thoughts! A lot of volunteers were in the pub drinking beer today after class and nothing wrng with that but my Saturdays are for my friends and family at home, period. For those who I have not heard from I hope to, soon, I love hearing news from home and other parts of the world. I love you guys, you are my rock!

So, this experience is going to have many ups and downs, as anyone's life is bound to....when everything hits you at once it is kind of tough, but I am saying OK, I am here for a reason, I believe in the higher cause of all of this, and if I can change for the positive one person's life, in Africa or anywhere, then I have done my job on this Earth! And it just so happens that I have this opportunity to do this here, now. I cannot think what it will bring or where it is going, but I am willing to wait out these tough times to see what unfolds, it certainly is an adventure!

And people who say this will only make my practice and spiritual life and eventual yoga teaching stronger are speaking a lot of sense....thanks for helping with my greatest fears. You are alltoo amazing for words, period.

OK, here is a quote that will hopefully get me through to next week, inshala. The other volunteers and myself will be in the training centre overnight again this Thursday for Independence Day, on the 4th, so looking forward to that, too! Have a great week everyone, may you only walk in light! Love, Trace (PS - you can translate the following into whatever you need to in your own lives to make this coming week a little easier)

"We are here to serve the Seengalese people, this is our main goal. Our personal ambitions and growth experiences are important, secondqry goqls, and can be accomplished only within the action of serving the communities and individuqls zho invited us to be here, who welcome us into their homes." - Peace Corps Senegal

Talk to you next week inshala!

Hi, guys, I just wanted to say that I love you all! I am sorry not to be able to update with an inspiriting quote or some photos - I took some with some family and friends before leaving and I will try to update them from Senegal - ha ha ha! OK, so I have been in training here in Philly and there are a lot of "rules" about blogs so I had to take off my address in Thies, so save that email I sent you with the address for my first two months. Anyway, I miss you and want to say something inspiring but it is 6:45 am and I have to do my yoga practice before we go....about the only thing my dead brain can handle right now.

I am super excited. The other trainees are wonderful. Lots of people who have traveled or lived abroad, about the only room in the US where everyone has traveled outside the US. There are 39 of us. So far, I have only positive things to say, really, and am going into this with an open mind and heart. I am definitely the biggest "real" hippie in the group so far so it'll be interesting....already I have a lot of offers for yoga teaching, ha ha ha, and since I will be spending so much time with these people over the next couple of months....maybe that will come to be my true calling anyway!.....who knows, I am open to anything.

Just one thing - they told us to tell you guys not to expect to hear from us - no expectations, b/c it is going to be such a full on experience for us, especially early on. Then when you hear from us it will be a blessing for all people (I added that last part! ha ha ha). We will be in a homestay and in total immersion at the training center, too. We will be assessed on language when we get there and when they find out I have almost no French they may put me right into Wolof....ah, that is ages away, I will take it when I get there!

I am not nervous, I am going with a ton of books....all my yoga and insight books and "I'm on the path" books, whatever that means, and oh I wish I had this really great quote I found but I will post it next time....the gist is that you are already great as you are and you don't need to "be on the the path" to realize that....so don't change, I love you as you are!

Peace babes and babettes! :) (OK, not sure what the male version of "babe" is so bare with me) Namaste. Bonne Chance!

True love

(Hanuman, Hindu monkey-god of devotion.)

Why do we put up barriers in relationships? We put up barriers out of fear, right? Because we want to avoid the pain - the "unpleasant sensation" - we feel when we have been hurt. But who is it that has been hurt? It is the ego, the "I," the thing that separates us from others. If we just loved ourselves a bit more, and felt that universal love, then the ego would be less, and we'd have less need to fear and put up barriers.

Excerpts from Swami Muktananda's "I Love You" :

Meditate on your Self.

Honor your Self.

Worship your Self.

Understand your own Self.

God dwells within you as you.

Love is not something new which we need to acquire.

It is a place in the heart within every one of us.

One who merely gives and takes in the name of love is only imitating the state of love.

Love doesn't exist for the sake of an object.

It is supremely free.

We are searching everywhere for love because we do not go inside.

The inner Consciousness is of the form of love.

It is only because of this love within us that we look for love in others.

When you meet a friend after a long time and embrace him, you close your eyes and go within, and for a fraction of a second you feel joy within yourself.

That joy is nothing but a shadow of the inner love - the love of the Self.

It is in search of this love that some people turn to renunciation.

You don't have to renounce anything to find love, anymore than you have to renounce anything to find sleep.

You can easily attain it if you go within.

True love is free from limitation.

It doesn't know high from low, man from woman, friend from enemy.

True love is an impulse which wells up independently from within.

If you want to live in bliss, you must go within and discover the love in your depths.

It is essential to love your own Self.

First you have to love your own body.

You have to learn to take care of your body, the body doesn't have to be tortured through austerities, but at the same time it doesn't have to be inundated with sensuality.

It can function well only if one lives a disciplined life.

And then you have to love your mind.

You don't have to torture the mind with all kinds of inhibitive, suppressive techniques.

The mind is nothing but divine Consciousness.

Once you attain love from within, you will also get it from without.

It will manifest in all for you.

It will manifest for others, too.

Your inner love will naturally flow out to them.

You won't have to make an effort to give it to them.

You won't even have to think about others.

The fragrance of a rose spreads in a natural manner, and everyone who passes by enjoyed it.

You are nothing but a flame of love.

All the creatures of this cosmos are nothing but vibrations of love.

They are sustained by love and in the end they merge into the same cosmic Being.

That is why it is essential to love.

Always remember one thing: God is not far from you and you are not far from God.

If you understand your own true nature, you will know that you are God.

If you don't understand your own true nature, you are still God.

Never forget this.

Look for everything within yourself.

Everything is inside you.

Increase and enhance this awareness, learn how to become ecstatic inside yourself.

The one you are looking for is you.

The one you want to attain is you.

I love you.

The truth in ourselves and others

Hey, guys, well, I am just trying these shannanigans out for the first time, so bear with me! In my profile picture, yes, I am strapped into a car seat in Dallas, which, aside from looking funny, can remind us of the journey that we are embarking on together!

But first, here I am with my best friend from college, Danny (the one pictured to my left, not the one trying out his best Leonardo DiCaprio "King of the World" impression from Titanic). We were just reunited in Dallas after (5?) years of not seeing each other, and nearly that of being out of touch - and we used to be inseparable. What a miracle and healing experience it has been to see her again. Danny, you are light itself, thank you for being part of my life, you are a blessing and a gift to me.

As are you all. I am so blessed for all the friends I have been reunited with over the last few months. I thank you for the love and support you have shown me in your own ways. I am not taking this journey alone, you are coming with me! You are always with me in spirit and in my heart. When you look at the stars, we are connected because the same stars look down on me as look on you.

Thank you all for the good vibrations and positive energy you have sent me since my email in January. I may go many places on this Earth, but home is where the heart is. This blog is one way in which I make a commitment to you - there will be a way to update it in Senegal!

I leave Monday, March 10th, for Atlanta, for three days of training. March 12th we fly in the evening to Senegal and arrive the morning of the 13th, to begin 8 weeks of in-country training, including a homestay and language (French) emersion. At the end of this time, we are assessed on four characteristics: language, cross-cultural, safety, and technical (pertaining to environmental education - our job!).

Senegal has had a 40 year drought and has problems with erosion and over-foresting. Of course. Culturally, it is 90% Islamic, and is French speaking, but we will learn a local language, too (maybe Wolof!). We will then be moving, probably to a village somewhere, maybe without running water and electricity, and probably living in our own hut in a family compound. There may be other volunteers nearby, maybe not. The rest is TBD! :)

OK, about my blogsite....My Senegal blogsite has a yoga title because Yoga means Unity. We are all one. The many emails, phone calls, thoughts, and positive energy I have received has been evidence of this. But we all need to practice this feeling of one-ness, because, let's be honest, it's not easy!

The next time you are pi**ed off with someone, or hurt or annoyed, remember that this person IS you, and that thing that ticks you off is inside you, too; or haven't you also hurt someone, too, at some stage? You may not have meant to, but we've all gone through stages where our judgment and vision were not the clearest, and we may have made mistakes or hurt ourselves and others unintentionally.

And just like we may not have meant to hurt others, maybe we have been hurt out of others' unconsciousness or ignorance, too. We can start to view others' actions from a place of empathy rather than from a point of incredulity, sadness, self pity, anger, or misunderstanding. After all, what goes around comes around - this is the karmic law - so where someone else is, we may have been before, will be later, or have been or will be in another life.

Sages say that the things that we recognize in others are a reflection of what is in ourselves, for good or for bad, so there is no "higher ground." We all have the saint and the sinner inside of us, and yoga ("yoking" - "unity") is just an acknowledgment of that.

To quote Seane Corn (vinyasa yoga teacher), yoga is not all "butterflies and unicorns," because WE are not just these things; yoga just seems to bring out our true nature in greater clarity. It doesn't whitewash who we are, but it makes us aware of what we are dealing with, as the issues are able to rise to the surface rather than staying festering underneath. We each have a shadow side, so recognizing this in ourselves, and then feeling empathy towards others when when we see it in them, marks a huge step towards peace and liberation.

We discussed this in our book club yesterday (thanks, Becky!), regarding Paramansa Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi (highly recommended!) - many of us have experienced the dissolution of barriers between self and other at some point, be it physically, psychically or emotionally. This can be a truly heart and mind opening experience - and we can choose to have it more often, if we are just conscious of dispelling the judgments and barriers against others as they arise.

Let's be conscious of when we erect barriers and let them divide us from others; and conversely, when we can break these barriers down. Then we can make steps to dissolve divisions and see the unity that is really there. Let's strive to rid ourselves of the blinders that separate us, and witness the miracles that are possible when we realize that everything is one thing, one Nature, one Being, one Creation - this is the essence of life and this is why yoga, "unity," is life! Namaste, everyone, the light in me meets the light in you! May love and light be with you and follow your holy steps everywhere.